Oh how I love the holiday season! Spending time with family, cozying up next to the fireplace, but most importantly? ROO CLUES! The 2017 Bonnaroo lineup is rumored to be released January 11, but until then, we get to analyze these little riddles to try and predict who we might be seeing on The Farm this summer!
I’m gonna go ahead and say that this is Getter. In fact, I don’t know if I’ve ever been so confident in one of these clues. Getter recently finished his “Wat the Frick” tour, the poster for which has monster trucks all over it. And if that wasn’t clear enough of a hint, the second hint posted on the Bonnaroo snapchat account capitalized the word ‘GET.’ I don’t think it gets more direct than that.
If you ordered your Bonnaroo 2017 ticket through the presale, you got an extra clue this year. I did not do that, but of course I found the clue anyway because I’m obsessive. This one I’m confident is Milky Chance! Their firs album is called Sadnecessary, and the mustache part could be referencing either a milk mustache or the lead singer’s signature stache.
Shoutout to high school English classes for the help with this one! This clue is safely assumed to be referencing George Orwell’s Animal Farm. The snapchat clue tells us that we should be paying attention to the author’s last name with the wells in the background. The Orwells should be on The Farm this year based on clue #2!
So. “Man of the round table” obviously is referring to knights. But a “feminine farm animal” could be any number of things, right? A female pig is a sow, a female chicken is a hen? Ah, but wait! We have our redeeming snapchat clue to make this way easier than it should be! Roofus riding a horse, which we can assume is a female horse. Also known as a mare. So who do we get when we put this all together? Nightmre!
I’m not gonna lie, I actually had to think about this one for at least 5 minutes before I realized that Albert might be referring to someone other than Einstein. But Einstein didn’t invent the internet. Good ol Al Gore did, right! But as the clue says, that doesn’t make him interesting. What a bore… Al Gore the bore… Borgore seems to be the clear answer for this one, even without the snapchat clue.
The overwhelming majority of the Bonnaroo internet community agrees that this clue is referring to Umphreys McGee. However, I don’t listen to Umphrey’s McGee nor do I know anything about the band members or their discography or really anything relating to them. So, I have no concept of whether or not I agree with that conclusion. But I don’t have any better alternative guesses so we’re gonna go with that.
It’s kinda the same deal for this one. Lots of people are saying Dua Lipa, but I have no idea whether or not that’s correct or not. I am not at all familiar with this artist (yet). Sorry, guys.
This clue, I definitely think is referring to Big Gigantic’s 2016 single “The Little Things.” The use of “itsy bitsy, teeny tiny” I would say is pointing us to Big Gigantic’s name. And if that wasn’t enough, the snapchat clue shows Roofus(s) playing “Hopscotch. Which is another song by Big G. I think this one is pretty much solved, but there’s also a small pert of me that thinks we all might be wrong about this one though…
I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS ONE! CAGE THE ELEPHANT IS GONNA BE BACK ON THE FARM SO LETS GET IT BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
Tiny Timothy is the mouse from Dumbo. Timothy doesn’t want to see his friend, who is an elephant, behind bars or in a CAGE. Also, Cage the Elephant announced earlier this week that on the 13th of this month, they will be releasing somethign called “Cold, Cold, Cold.” I don’t know exactly what it’s going to be, but ‘Cold, Cold, Cold’ is also one of my favorite songs from their most recent album. 3 Roofus’ standing out in the cold make for a pretty good clue. So I am very happy to call this one solved!
And for the final clue, they had to go big! The first part of the clue is referring to this artists nicknames- Dusty and Casper. But for those of us who don’t know nicknames of celebrities they helped us out a little more. So we musit ask ourselves: whose name should never be said in vain???… Lorde!
And just so there wasn’t anyone second guessing the validity of this conclusion, they gave us one last solidifying clue on snapchat of Roofus wearing a crown… as if he were among the …”Royals”
The full lineup will be released on January 13th, and it’s lookin like this is gonna be a great summer to spend on The Farm!